My dear friends, we love you so very much,
You all want to feel a sense of connection in life. For some of you, this manifests as a desire for connection with the Divine, in whatever form you understand it to be. Others want to feel a connection with animals or nature. Most of you want harmonious and uplifting connections with other human beings. But underneath all of these wishes, what you all want the most is a harmonious connection with your inner self—an aligned relationship with the Divine Spark that lives and breathes within you. You want to be connected with the love and light within. You want to feel that alignment. You want to feel like the best and most loving version of yourself.
Have you ever watched someone who seems to handle all relationships, even unpleasant ones, with grace and diplomacy? They can be kind one moment, firm the next, but in all cases, they maintain their dignity, their grace, and their center. They know how to listen, and they communicate in ways that genuinely seem to connect with people. You admire such souls. You know these types of interactions are possible. You want to be as rooted and centered in your best self.
Then, you ask, “Why do I allow others to bother me? Why do I get tense, upset, or afraid around others? Why do I get sucked into disagreements? Why does it seem so difficult to find the grace, dignity, and even the words to manage challenging relationships in a way that doesn’t diminish me?”
From our vantage point, this graciousness is who you really are. In your essence, you are a deeply loving and feeling being who wants to love and be loved. The only difference between a gracious soul and one who feels victimized by others is that the gracious one takes charge of their own reality, their inner condition, their interactions, and how they present themselves. They decide when, how, and if they interact. They choose to be loving and kind regardless of what others are doing.
A frustrated soul outsources their emotions, allowing them to be dictated by the words and behaviors of others. A gracious soul decides how they will feel independent of the words and emotions of others. Most of you vacillate between the two throughout your days, able to maintain your center in many cases while losing it in others.
We understand that it is easy to “get triggered” by the unloving behavior of others. No one wants a controlling, manipulative, argumentative, or negative individual in their lives. You’d much prefer to be around people who are responsible for their own moods, allow you to be you, and want the best for all. And you all deserve these types of relationships.
Nonetheless, you are bound to run across other characters throughout your life. You’ll find them at work, while you’re out running errands, and often in your own family. They are your challenges and your teachers. And sometimes, you’ve been that difficult character for others. So how do you stay in your loving center in the presence of difficult people?
You start by reminding yourself that you get to be you, no matter what others say, think, or do!
When you are around someone who tells you how you should think or act, you can grant both them and yourself the right to disagree. You can diffuse a conversation by saying something both kind and true: “I think we all have to find our own way. I’m glad you’ve found a path that works for you.” You have to mean it. Energy speaks louder than words. A sincere, centered, and calm statement can diffuse a bully. At best, they’ll learn a little. At worst, they’ll decide you’re well-meaning but difficult!
When you have a hard time connecting with someone, perhaps because they aren’t listening, they’re insecure, or they have a different agenda, you can grant them understanding first so they will calm down and be willing to understand you. You don’t have to get defensive. A person who is confident and calm has nothing to prove. They know who they are.
You can take a breath, seek to understand all perspectives, and, from that understanding, communicate in new ways. For example, suppose you say, “I need to go to the store on Saturday.” Your spouse, parent, or child answers, “You never have time for me!”
Take a breath. “I’m so sorry. I hear you. It would be nice to have more time to enjoy together. But there is a lot to handle, and we need groceries. Would you prefer I get them on Saturday, or would you like to pick them up earlier so we can spend time together? Or we could spend a little extra and get them delivered Friday night so we can spend time together on Saturday. What do you think?”
As if you are dealing with a hurt child—and frequently, in these cases, you are—you listen, acknowledge, and then offer options.
When you are able, be kind to yourself and spend time in the company of those you resonate with and enjoy. But when you must be around a difficult character, remember this simple truth: Everyone wants to feel seen, heard, loved, and acknowledged. And as you grant difficult souls the gift of being seen, heard, loved, and acknowledged, most will settle down and bring a kinder version of themselves to the surface.
Should you have to be the adult among those who act like scared or upset children? No, dear ones. There are no “shoulds.” But if you want peace and harmony, you can find it within, no matter what others present to you. You can bring your own centeredness into every interaction. You can listen through the lens of understanding that all—no matter how well- or ill-behaved—are seeking love. You can be the grace, the love, and the kindness that you are and thus transform many of your interactions. And when you can’t influence someone for the better, you can refrain from letting their unkindness infiltrate your own sense of self.
There will always be lovely souls who are a pleasure to be around. There will always be difficult ones who take some work to be around. But as you perfect the relationship you have with yourself, you will find it much easier to interact with all beings. Difficult people will suddenly seem like the scared or frustrated beings they truly are. And as you witness the child within them, compassion will stir in your heart. Whether or not you choose to engage, you can engage with the love within, and in that reality, harmony is naturally achieved.
God Bless You! We love you so very much.
— The Angels
